The Ultimate Question for Adoptive Parents

You and your child are stranded on a deserted island with four other people. You are getting worried, because your child is starting to run a fever and needs medical attention. A small, intact plane floats up onto the shore, and you are incredibly relieved that you finally have the resource necessary to get help for your child. There is no one on the plane, and only three people will fit inside. Everyone agrees that you and your child should be the first to fly out, to ensure your child’s needs are met. They tell you it is up to you to choose which member of the group will fly the plane.

The first group member says, “I’ve been a plane passenger many times – I have lots of tips to make the flight comfortable for the two of you. If we run into problems, I’ll try my best to figure them out. I’ll fly you and your child to safety.”

The second group member says, “I’ve been a flight attendant my entire career – I have lots of advice to make the flight safe and comfortable for the two of you. If we run into certain problems, I’ll know how to handle them; if we run into other problems, I’ll do my best to figure them out. I’ll fly you and your child to safety.”

The third group member says, “I’ve been a pilot for years – I’m trained to fly a plane. I’ve learned how to foresee potential problems and prevent them. If we run into a problem, I’ll know what all of our options are and what to do to prevent a crisis. It may not be the most comfortable flight, but I’ll fly you and your child to safety.”

The fourth group member says, “I have been a passenger on many planes, I was a flight attendant for a long time, and I’ve been a pilot for several years now. I can provide you with everything that the other group members can. I’ll fly you and your child to safety.”

Who would you have the most confidence in to fly you and your child to safety?

When it comes to adoptive parenting, you can choose to receive tips from other adoptive parents (passengers) – they’ll have experience and suggestions to offer after going through the adoption process and parenting their children.

You can choose to receive advice from adoptees (flight attendants) – they’ll understand the struggles adoptees face, have great insights into how to minimize those struggles, and offer ideas to build a happy, healthy parent-child relationship.

You can choose to receive advice from licensed professionals who specializes in adoption (pilots) – they’ll be knowledgeable about the struggles adoptees face, how those struggles are similar or different from other mental health issues, and have the training and tools to prevent or manage crisis.

What if you could combine all three of those roles into one person? Someone who understands what it’s like to be an adoptive parent, who has the experience and insights of an adoptee, and has the psychological knowledge and tools necessary to support your child’s needs?

Dr. Wirta-Leiker is a licensed psychologist, transracial adoptee, and an adoptive parent. She has the insights, experience, and knowledge adoptive parents need to understand and support their child, from all angles. She’ll share from her unique perspective in the “Transracial Adoption Bootcamp: Race &amp; Resilience” webinar on May 6, 2017. Don’t miss out on this incredible opportunity to learn and grow as a transracially adoptive parent – register here before May 1<sup>st</sup>, space is limited: <a href=””></a>

About Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker

Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker is an adoptee, adoptive parent, and psychologist who provides mental health support focused on adoption, trauma, and racial identity work. She is the author of the "Adoptees Like Me" book series.