Relationships
Nice Doesn’t Always Mean Safe: Why Adoptees Need More Than Kindness to Thrive
Are you surrounding yourself with people who are nice—or people who are safe? It’s a question that often stops people in their tracks. For adoptees, especially those in transracial families,…
Read MoreBeyond Words: How Unspoken Moments Create the Deepest Opportunities for Healing
There is a particular kind of comfort that comes from being understood without explanation. As an adoptee and a psychologist, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this unspoken understanding can be…
Read MoreWhy Does Therapy Cost So Much?
One of the most common—and completely understandable—questions I hear is: “Why does therapy cost so much?” It’s a question I welcome, because the answer helps humanize therapists and sheds light…
Read More“Did You Always Know?” and Other Personal Questions that Shouldn’t Be Asked of Adoptees or Trans/Non-binary Folx
An adoptee reflects on the weird questions people ask trans and non-binary folks—and how familiar they sound. As an adopted person, I’ve spent my life navigating an oddly specific kind…
Read MoreChocolate, Starfish & Your Genuine Worth: A Crucial Lesson Learned as an Adoptee
As adoptees, we often have a strong desire to contribute to the world in significant ways in order to prove the worth of our existence to others. This frequently manifests…
Read MoreThe Bedtime Narrative for Kids Who Struggle with Sleep Anxiety
Throughout the years, I’ve had a number of requests for support from adoptive parents who are struggling with their child’s sleep anxiety. It’s an all-too-familiar scenario: “They refuse to let…
Read MoreSeven Hidden Harms in Performative Racial Allyship
If you are white, it may be easy to view performative racial allyship as benign. It’s short-lived and superficial nature does not look much different from other trends – a…
Read MoreWhy “I’m Ready to Listen” is Not the Beginning of Your Allyship
It’s inevitable. Every time there is a major headline involving the murder of an unarmed Black person at the hands of a law enforcement officer, I see the same pattern…
Read MoreThe Single Item that Made Me Understand Racism
It was a Band-Aid. Well, not actually a Band-Aid – just the image of a Band-Aid. So small, yet so damaging. It changed my life – the entire way I…
Read MoreWhat We Ask of You
Understand that we do not ask you to hear our voices because we are grieving. We ask you to hear our voices because we are exhausted from grieving. Biologicals cannot…
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