When Parenting Shifts: Navigating the Teen & Young Adult Years with Your Adoptee

There’s a quiet but powerful shift that happens as your as your teen steps into young adulthood. The rhythms you once relied on in parenting begin to feel out of sync. The conversations feel shorter. The reactions feel sharper. The connection you worked so hard to build suddenly feels less certain.

And underneath it all, many parents are left wondering: How do I stay connected when they seem to be pulling away?

For adoptees and fostered youth, the college years and early adulthood often bring a new layer of complexity to the surface. As the brain continues to mature and identity formation grows, many young people revisit earlier experiences—this time with more awareness, deeper curiosity, and greater emotional weight.

It’s common for parents to feel uncertain or even helpless during this transition. Some wonder if they’re doing too much, others worry they’re not doing enough. Old patterns may resurface—shutdowns, irritability, avoidance. Moments that were “supposed to feel proud” can feel surprisingly painful or disconnected.

This isn’t because something is wrong with your relationship. It’s because with parenting, you can never be ahead of the curve—you and your teen are navigating new, confusing, and complex territory together.

Parenting during this stage isn’t about having all the right answers. It’s about showing up differently—with flexibility, humility, and confidence in your ability to be a safe place through unfamiliar terrain. It’s about noticing when dysregulation looks like defiance. About respecting autonomy without losing connection. And about holding space for all of the “both/ands” that come with adulthood: independence and vulnerability, confidence and doubt, gratitude and grief.

When you adjust your lens and your language, your child begins to feel it. The space between you softens. Communication opens. Connection can be renewed.

I’ve supported so many adoptive parents through this challenging phase with their teen and young adult adoptees, and while I’d love to invite every single one of you into my therapy space to help you navigate it, too, I know that it’s not possible. Instead, I’ve created an on-demand course that shares all of the ideas and strategies I’d like you to know as you guide your child through this messy and beautiful phase of life, so that you can gain the insights you deserve in a more convenient and affordable way. In this course, I’ll share about:

• The typical developmental traits of late adolescence and early adulthood, and how they may show up a bit differently for adoptees and fosterees

• Strategies for supporting identity exploration, grief reprocessing, and emerging autonomy

• Ways to identify when professional support might be needed because the struggles are too big for you and your adoptee to handle on your own

• Language and practices that reinforce connection even when communication is limited

You don’t have to figure this out alone. With the right support, this next chapter can bring meaningful bonds that last into the next stage of life with your adoptee. View the course now to gain the insight and tools you and your teen deserve to navigate this transition stage.