Thoughtful Holiday Gifts for Adoptees
Choosing holiday gifts for adoptees—children, teens, and adults—offers an opportunity to honor the complexity of their identity, history, and healing journey. For many adoptees, the holidays can stir a mix of emotions: joy, connection, loss, longing, and questions of belonging. Thoughtful gifting doesn’t necessarily mean you need to focus on adoption itself; instead, it means giving with awareness, sensitivity, and care for the wide range of an adoptee’s experiences.
Intentional gifts acknowledge that adoption is not a one-time event—it’s a lifelong journey shaped by culture, history, relationships, and identity. Meaningful gifts can support self-expression, cultural connection, comfort, and agency at every developmental stage. And when possible, choosing items created by adoptees adds an extra layer of affirmation by uplifting voices from within the community.
Whether you’re a family member, friend, educator, or clinician, the lists below offer a starting point for choosing gifts that feel grounding, empowering, and respectful of each adoptee’s unique story:
Preschool/Elementary-Age Adoptees
Toys
- Dolls reflecting ethnic mirroring
- Stuffed animals or building sets representing birth culture
- Puzzles, photo books, or ornament pictures of their first family or birth country
- Skin-tone crayons or markers
Books
- Adoption is a Lifelong Journey by Kelly DiBenedetto, Katie Gorczyca & Jennifer Eckert
- Being Adopted by Amy Wilkerson
- Casey Conquers Bedtime (Adoptees Like Me series) by Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker
- Marie Discovers Her Superpowers (Adoptees Like Me series) by Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker
Middle School/High School-Age Adoptees
Items
- Cultural cooking classes with a friend or cultural box subscriptions
- Journals or photo albums created for adoptees
- Posters or postcards of celebrities and athletes reflecting ethnic mirroring
- Comfort items like weighted blankets, scented candles, or starlight lamps
Books
- Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Foster Youth by Diane Rene Christian & Mei-Mei Akwai Ellerman
- The Adoptee’s Journey: From Loss & Trauma to Healing & Empowerment by Cam Lee Small
- When We Become Ours: A YA Adoptee Anthology by Shannon Gibney & Nicole Chung
- You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity & Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Adult Adoptees
Items
- Cookbooks reflecting ethnic heritage or gift cards to a favorite ethnic restaurant
- Decorative maps or artwork representing birth country
- Adoptee-centered event tickets of their choice (conferences, film festivals, writing workshops, etc.)
- Financial support for genealogical research or birth country travel
Books
- All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir Nicole Chung
- Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption by Susan Devan Harness
- Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton
- Lions Roaring Far From Home: Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees by Aselefech Evans
- The Girl I Am, Was, & Never Will Be by Shannon Gibney
No matter which gifts you choose, the most meaningful part is the care behind them—the acknowledgment that an adoptee’s story deserves to be seen, honored, and supported. Thoughtful giving doesn’t require grand gestures; even small items offered with understanding can create moments of comfort, connection, and affirmation. As you move through the holiday season, I hope these ideas help you approach gifting with curiosity, compassion, and a deeper appreciation for the rich and varied experiences of adoptees of all ages.